I'm cold and I'm shamed , Lying Naked on the Floor '

'I'm cold and I'm shamed , Lying Naked on the Floor '

'I'm cold and I'm shamed , Lying Naked on the Floor ' sang Harry full of emotion and safe in the knowledge that Judge Louis was back in Ireland with Sharron Osbourne to keep him entertained . Just how Harry with his tousled tumbling locks ended up cold , shamed and naked on the floor , we have to step back in time.

For our reality pop cherubs it was all going so well , they had at landed at Lord Cowell's mansion on  Paradise Island  . For a while  it truly appeared  they had  found paradise .  But disaster struck for as the reality pop cherubs frolicked with gay abandon in the sea , Louis he of the ever present beaming smile was stung by a sea urchin , this unfortunate incident though did give us all an opportunity to see just how broad Liam is and gaze at his rock hard abs . I was hoping that  Louis might faint and need resuscitating by Liam aka B.O.B ? but no  , and Louis  was carted off to the local E.R on paradise Island

Back at Headquarters , The boys were shown rehearsing , the chemistry was off , they needed  Louis and his beaming smile more than ever . As Zane cryptically  said ' Our universe is all bent out of shape right now ' if this wasn't perplexing enough  Harry was heard saying  ' something needed to be thicker ' ( Liam's fringe ?) At the  hospital  car park  Louis was shown looking  tanned and  slightly forlorn as he waited for a ride . Personally I would have thought Louis would have been fighting the taxi drivers off to get him back to Lord Cowells HQ  .Also I know we live in the age of austerity but I think Lord Cowell could have given Louis the return taxi fare back .

Zane - Mysterious

Louis - short of cab fare

Somehow though Louis  was returned just in time to join our reality pop cherubs  for  the performance of their lives . As Simon expressed his  concern for a hobbling Louis near death experience , Louis beamed another sunny smile and said he was okay . Before though reality pop cherub Louis could accept the stunning bouquet flowers that Judge Louis had sent him on hearing of the accident , it was finally time to sing at the court of Queen Nefertiti.

  

Queen Nefertiti

Each year Lord Cowell is joined by that Oracle of modern popular music that is Sinitta , who this year took her unique sense of style and occasion to even new heights when she emerged as Queen Nefertiti .

Liam Totally Owned the Courtyard 

Not put off at the sight of Queen Nefertiti , master performer that he already is Liam stepped forward , his highlights glistening , while the others stayed back in classic boy band formation stance . Liam sang each word with such emotion  it clearly moved   Lord Cowell  who tapped his feet . B.O.B then was nearly knocked off the courtyard and into the pool as Harry strode past , in a surprise move Harry then took the lead as the rest of the boys provided back up .

Total Harmony   ' oooooh ,  oooooh , oooh '    

As the reality pop cherubs came together for the climax , had Queen Nefertiti heard enough ? or was  her royal highness   just in a blissful state of meditation ?.  The camera then cut back to  Louis who unsurprisingly was still beaming  away  .Then as  rosy cheeked Niall began to tug away at his shirt , I thought this is it , are all the reality pop cherubs going to rip off their shirts in an effort to wake Queen Nefertiti from her comatosed state ?.  Sadly the shirt ripping never  occurred , and Sinitta remained comatosed  in the court yard . Instead it was up to the Zen like Zayne to finish the song on a touchingly tender note  . 

                                                 

        

The Reality Pop Cherubs have given their all , going shirtless  , being stung , and some stellar sonnet singing , they can do no more but wait for Lord Cowell to deliver his verdict .

Coming soon   ' I Went With  My Heart ' we witness the verdict on the most exiting boy band since A1!