A Day Out with Uncle Simon
Showing posts with label One Direction Reality Pop Cherubs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label One Direction Reality Pop Cherubs. Show all posts
''Oh Sod it !''
'We're the Kids , The Kids in America , Woah , Woah Woah !'
No that's not what B.O.B said when Uncle Simon's assistant suggested the boys slipped into something more comfortable* . Or the terrifically tousled Harry said when once again his chances off singing lead vocal were cruelly dashed , no it was straight out the mouth of our own Cindi Lauper -Katie as she crumpled to the floor in yet another act of desperation as once again she found herself the sing off .
Of course the sensation that is One Direction have never been in the sing off and I'm sure if they were , Judge Gustav von Aschenback would save them . Uncle Simon though this week was taking no chances and made sure to the delight of millions of fans everywhere there was a double dose of Shirtlessness and boxer brief wearing in the 'intro' before the band had even sung a note , thus their future was assured .
Capitalizing on reality cherubs Harry's continuing wish to take a lesson in how to work a tumbler dryer from fresh faced Niall , glad only in his boxers , Harry's face was a picture of concentration . Seconds later a shirtless Zayne was shown popping a mini doughnut in his mouth with a yet another enigmatic look to the camera .
It's a One Direction World !
Peachy !
'Harry you could be in 'glee'
What a Dapper Duo !
Fab Boy Band classic group shot !
'Harry you could be in 'glee'
What a Dapper Duo !
Fab Boy Band classic group shot !
Turn Around Bright Eyes ! Its One Direction !
Bella La Naill
Bella La Zayne Mystery Vamp
Louis La Vamp
Another dramatic week in the life on the biggest boy band on the planet , earlier while attending a gig , tragedy struck when singer Liam's fringe fell forwards , Liam unable to see then fell over a speaker and sprained his ankle ( rumours that he was pushed by Tesco Mary are totally unfounded as she was on the night shift stacking shelves ) Liam hobbled back to the One Direction mobile . Could Liam's dream of singing lead vocal on all the performances could be in jeopardy ?.
As Liam received intensive physio therapy from tender hands of Brian Freeman , the X Factors creative director . The other members of One Direction said the show must go on . As I twittered my get well message to Liam , it seemed overnight Brian's healing hands had performed a miracle and Liam was up and able to perform .
For the Love of Bonnie !
Bonnie - Backcombed
Bonnie - Backcombed
And what a great song choice from kindly wealthy benefactor Uncle Simon ' Total Eclipse of the Heart ' as sung by Bonnie Tyler . Watching the original video with Bonnie , her locks in power pumped mode, her white dress flowing wondering the empty corridors of a top private school in England at night . It would appear that this one video so heavily influenced creative director Brian Freeman he must have watched over a zillion times . It has all the classic over the top staging and choreography that Brian has made his own .
Boom !
As Bonnie runs slow mo style through the corridor , the school room doors blow open and inside we see a group of students , shirts open thier ties all askew , oh my lord! call the headmaster ! Bonnie runs on shocked at the falling standards in school uniform . Another 'boom' in the song , another door flies open its the school swim team in speedos ! ' boom!' and a wave comes from nowhere , spraying water over those muscled torsos .
'Straighten that Tie !'
Boom !
Oh its the swim team , what a surprise !
Boom !
Boom! Boom !
The Sarah Jane Adventures !
The Sarah Jane Adventures !
Does Bonnie stay to help the team to towel down ?, hell no ! she's got yet another huge room to run into and its filled with the school choir who look like something out of 'The Sarah Jane Adventures' especially when one choir boy takes flight . Its not over for Bonnie as she is surrounded by the school football team who are all abercromied up , finally its all too much and a exhausted Bonnie collapses, only to be ravaged by a fallen angel . Now why don't they make videos like that anymore ?.
Now obviously Brian wanted to pay homage to the video that changed his life and inspired him to become the creative director that he is today . But Liam's ankle was still delicate , so the plan of Liam running down a mysterious castle corridor in white silk pyjamas had to be scrapped .
'We have Lift Off !'
Is that Action Alex as the Angel ?
Now obviously Brian wanted to pay homage to the video that changed his life and inspired him to become the creative director that he is today . But Liam's ankle was still delicate , so the plan of Liam running down a mysterious castle corridor in white silk pyjamas had to be scrapped .
No Silk Pyjama's for Liam
Instead following an astonishing intro shockingly shared by Liam and ' turn around ' Niall , who this week was neither tanned or rosy cheeked . No Niall had spooky eye make up like fellow band vamps Louis and the enigmatic Zayne . Harry as usual was packed full of intensity and passion , you could imagine him being swept away by 'True Bloods Bill' and being 'glamoured'. As Liam effortlessly moved to the songs climax , only to find that ' gasp' Louis's mic was turned on !. Before Liam could notice , Louis sang ' Once upon a time I was falling in love , But now this bromance has torn my life apart '. As if this wasn't moving enough , Zayne was in the zone and finished the song with his unique vocal stylings.
Gustav von Aschenbachs Judge Louis kind offer , It was decision time . Once again the entire population of One Direction's key demographic had voted them through . This time Niall's customary kiss on the check for Uncle Simon , only briefly lifted his spirits as he watched his other group ' Bella Blancmange' being sadly voted off .
Louis in mic turned on shock/thrill !
Zayne in the Zone
The next night with the boys still contemplating 
Next time will Micky Rouke play Wagner in the upcoming E Channel Real Life Story and will Harry play Tadzio with Judge Louis as Gustav von Aschenbach in Judge Louis new self financed opera ?
' Its Like 5 Justin Biebers !'
One Direction - A Guily Pleasure ?
'Its like 5 Justin Biebers !' exclaimed Judge Louis excitedly , whether this was a private fantasy that Judge Louis could mentor or manage 5 Justin Beibers is unknown . Judge Louis then added helpfully ' You are my a Boy band '. in case viewers were unaware of who One Direction were .
Judge Danni said the reality pop cherub's were 'Living a dream' possibly a reference to Judge Louis dream of '5 Justin Biebers' . The Angel of the North proclaimed as concise as ever ' The pop cherubs were 'her very own guilty pleasure ' . Kindly Uncle Simon gave us some behind the scenes info , when shockingly the rumored cover of Justin Biebers ' Baby ' was not working ( was Zayne struggling to get to that special place , or was the rumour that Harry and Louis Cherub were going to share the lead vocal a line up change to far for front man Liam ? ), thankfully our reality pop cherubs had prepared a back up song for such emergencies .
So it can to be told , that once again Liam took the lead and I have to say gave his best vocal yet . Zayne once again on lead backing vocals dreamily breathed his vocals , dreamily into the microphone in the way that only Zayne can . Meanwhile a shock was in store when Harry as physced up as ever sang live during the chorus ! , with such a flourish he allowed a reality pop cherub wink to the camera . Mean while Niall looking rather tanned this week and Louis who both know how to work the camera , provided their multi track backing vocals .
Judge Danni said the reality pop cherub's were 'Living a dream' possibly a reference to Judge Louis dream of '5 Justin Biebers' . The Angel of the North proclaimed as concise as ever ' The pop cherubs were 'her very own guilty pleasure ' . Kindly Uncle Simon gave us some behind the scenes info , when shockingly the rumored cover of Justin Biebers ' Baby ' was not working ( was Zayne struggling to get to that special place , or was the rumour that Harry and Louis Cherub were going to share the lead vocal a line up change to far for front man Liam ? ), thankfully our reality pop cherubs had prepared a back up song for such emergencies .
So it can to be told , that once again Liam took the lead and I have to say gave his best vocal yet . Zayne once again on lead backing vocals dreamily breathed his vocals , dreamily into the microphone in the way that only Zayne can . Meanwhile a shock was in store when Harry as physced up as ever sang live during the chorus ! , with such a flourish he allowed a reality pop cherub wink to the camera . Mean while Niall looking rather tanned this week and Louis who both know how to work the camera , provided their multi track backing vocals .
Liam - Reality Rock Cherub Lead Vocalist
Niall - Tanned !
Harry - Great Camera Connection !
Zayne - Breathy Backing Vocals !
Louis - Stage Presence !
A mere 24 hours later , it was result time and once again it was time for One Direction to give their kindly benefactor Uncle Simon their special group hug . Such heart warming celebrations have not gone unnoticed over at the Digital Spy Forums where one topic is the number of times the newly tanned Niall has kissed
Its a One Direction World !
'Is this Thing On ?'
B.O. B - Confident !
Shock Style change ! Louis not wearing espadrilles !
'Does My Bum look Big in This Is ?'
Niall - Sagging !
Amazing One Direction Fact :
Liam would be working in an Airplane factory if he weren't in One Direction , thank heavens that fate intervened .
Stage Fright and a viral infection ! takes it toll on Harry , Diva Fever sacrificed ! and Kindly Uncle Simon has seen the future !
One Direction - Its Serious !
The week may have started well for One Direction with more trips to the local shops , to stock up on the groups fav mags , apparently Men's Health , Vanity Fair and of course Pop Star magazine are rumoured to be among the magazines the group brought . But later that week in studio rehearsals tragedy struck! . No Harry's locks have not been straightened , it was far worse , Harry was over come by stage fright ! . Brian the caring sharing Creative Director of the show that he is , suggested that Harry wait it out in Brian's luxury dressing room until Brian himself could attend to the fallen Harry personally . A final hug from rosy cheeked Niall and it was game over for Harry Cherub .
Paranormal Activity ? No, its Creative Director Brian !
Watching from the Studio Floor , Brian a trained dancer instinctively knows
Cherub Harry's not 'feeling it '
'Why's Brian looking at me ?, I don't feel so good'
30 Seconds later it was S.O.S Reality Pop Cherub Down !
Liam Steps Up !
“It’s tough because Harry is a big voice and a big character within our group,” explained Liam, “but we all auditioned for this competition as solo artists, so if Harry doesn’t make it to the performance tomorrow night, we’ll just have to step-up and carry on without him – you have to play the cards your dealt.”
Thank goodness there's no rivalry going on then or heaven forbid ' creative tensions ' and that Liam is more than willing to step up .
“We’ve got to jig things around a little bit,” continued Niall, “but we’re all in this together and we can get through this as a team.”
'Like a water polo team ! ' smiled Louis winningly.
The Performance !
While Liam took his vocals to new heights opened and closed a truly epic version of Kelly Clarksons ' With Out My Life Would Blow' .( I had so wanted them to cover Frank Musik's ' Gotta Boyfriend ?' but hey ) Once again , Louis and Harry were strangely denied lead vocals , even rosy cheeked Niall was relegated to back up . Zayne once again went to a very special place vocally while visually morphing into Justin from 'Ugly Betty' . With skills like these no wonder kindly Uncle Simon said the cherubs are 'the boy band of the future '
Its Morphing Time !
as Zayne morphed into Justin from Ugly Betty mid performance .
The Future - One Direction !
And just like last week it was all too brief and it was verdict time , The Angel of North declared that she couldn't get over 'how cute they all were' and she just wanted to ' hug ' them all . I'm sure Judge Louis echoed these sentiments but thankfully there was a high stage , a desk , security and a crash barrier ( newly introduced ) between the boys to prevent such an out poring of emotion from Judge Louis . Danni judge archly wondered aloud if Kelly Clarkson was really the cherubs music heroine ? when of course she knew really , that the reality pop cherubs musical heroine was in fact Cher .
The next night as the public vote results were announced and One Direction bounced through to the next show , kindly Uncle Simon's master plan took shape as dreamboats fav Diva Fever were sacrificed due to The X Factor set dressing and choreography budget needing to being halved in line with the Conservative Governments austerity cuts . Saturdays beach love in set then was a choreography set piece too far .
Diva Fever Sacrificed !
The next night as the public vote results were announced and One Direction bounced through to the next show , kindly Uncle Simon's master plan took shape as dreamboats fav Diva Fever were sacrificed due to The X Factor set dressing and choreography budget needing to being halved in line with the Conservative Governments austerity cuts . Saturdays beach love in set then was a choreography set piece too far .
Diva Fever became the first X factor act to end their journey as a result of Government Spending Cuts directly affecting reality shows
'When Five Move as One!'
Total Synchronicity !
The moment had arrived , It was time for reality pop cherubs One Direction to sing 'live' on the first 'live' shows . Backstage Harry was battling with his nerves , Queen Nefertiti confidential as ever tweeted ' Poor Harry he's full of nerves and has just thrown up !'. What her majesty didn't twitter was that Harry had also just been winked at by last years winner Joe who later revealed that the b side to his fab single 'Ambition' entitled ' If You Love Me ' was inspired by Harry ! . Lord have mercy !
As the VT rolled , the enigmatic Zain took centre stage and 'fessed up' that he was having trouble with his part , you could see the cherubs pulling together , hoping perhaps against hope for Zain to hit the right notes . Sometimes though , will power is just not enough .
Zain a reality pop note to far ?
Taking to the stage in classic boy band formation , I can only assume Brian who is now Creative Director told the boys to imagine they were trying to get into a poll dancing club , and to look ' cool ' and 'street ' . A difficult combination to pull off for Louis but Zain certainly nailed that brief . Meanwhile Cherub leader Liam took control of the intro to ' Viva la Viva '
As the song continued the enigmatic Zain was clearly on a different spiritual plane , Harry and his wondrous locks appeared to be oddly reduced to the backing vocals . Even in a reduced role Harry gave his all , a youtube comment I read summed it up ' Wow look at Harry he's really into
Harry - Intense !
The big surprise was though was Niall's soar away pop perfect vocals , although he appeared to be worried that a wardrobe malfunction was imminent and hoisted up his designer breeches . Niall , the Irish rosy cheeked wonder not only moved in time to the song (and with a Coldplay song that's not easy )he also sang well too . Liam , still suffering from that make over from hell , seemed to be in shock that his fantastic fringe could no longer magically swish back into place . Ever the professional Liam ended the song in true Liam style . Alas the boys time on stage was all to brief and it was time for the Judges comments
Niall - sang and moved in time !
A Bouquet of Lilly's
For Judge Louis it was clear these five bachelor boys were the next big thing , botox holding Louis spoke ' Niall you've got the moves , you've got the voice and I've got a bouquet of Lily's backstage with your name on it '.
Judge Louis thought Niall had the moves !
For Liam there was only one comment that counted , kindly Uncle Simon's .'Liam your fringe is growing back , the girls on face book love you and your intro and outro for that song was devastating on a number of levels '
While the boys appeared to have delivered a performance to remember , The next night Nicolo (who had performed a daring cover of Lady Gaga's ' Just Dance ' ). was destined for the final curtain when the public decided that Nicolo was no 'Grayson Chance' . Before exiting stage left , Nicolo memorably told fish restaurateur/presenter Dermot that he felt ' Crap '
Next and proving that kindly Uncle Simon was still a master of the dark arts , one of his own groups F.Y.D were out , kindly Uncle Simon wished them well , while surely his inner dark lord must have thought , 'Just one less group for One Direction to be up against '. World pop domination aside I love Diva Fevers spirited rendition of 'Sunny' and Paije's version of ' Killing me softly ' ala The Fugees .
Reality Pop Cherub Bromance Watch .
With One Direction , there are just so many looks , gestures and moments that to be honest the bromancers change on an hourly basis , but during the judges comments when Niall, cheeks glowing smiled to Harry and Harry looked back to Niall , it was a true bromance moment .
'Your hairs like so wavy and so shiny '
' Niall you can rock my Golden Thong anytime '
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